Beltaine

Have a wonderfull Beltaine everybody! Here's a little songpiece:

http://youtu.be/bh3rsLYCtsw


And some astrology here:
Pluto the planet of death is currently opposing my Jupiter (the planet of joy, luck and beliefs). This means a lot of old habits and psycological restricitons have been dealt with. This transit gives me the strenght to overcome my inner demons. I've learned a lot about law of attraction. And in it has only been two weeks but I feel like a newborn. So much I've left behind. I've digged deep into my subconcious and revealed a lot. I found a wonderfull lady on youtube, she's a hypnotherapist and it was through her that I discovered what was really going on in my mind. She's just great!

Here's one of her eye-opening videos:

http://youtu.be/50i-gJsT6_w

I can say I've definately been there. I always seemed to fall for unattainable people. My mind often created chemistry with them because I needed the drama. My often saw them more glorious as they really were. Saw things that really weren't there. And at the same time it was a safe way 'cause I new it couldn't happen because of my fears deep down in my subconcious. And subconious always wants to repeat the patterns it has learned, wheter it's good or bad, just because it's safe. 

I've learned so much, I highly recommend Debra Berndt to everyone!

Fullmoon talisman

I decided to make a talisman for increasing creativity since I should do some choreographies for our production and for the TEAK exams. It's already working, though I'm suddenly very interested in writing songs :0. Nothing bad in it, it's just that, I've never written songs nor thought I could do so. But today I did anyway. It turned out pretty nice (notice, I'm writing lyrics, not composing).

Here's some pics.

There's the scroll.
Here's what's inside:

The sign of Venus, planet of love but creativity/arts as well. Then a figure that I formed from a finnish word "luovuus" (creativity) using a table of hebrew letters from the book Modern Magick (discussed in earlier posts too) by D.M Kraig. Then a triangle of air and a name of a entity of air "Anael" and two marks/symbols associated with it.

SO, back to songwriting.. :) Maybe I'll even show some of them here in this blog.

Past life examination and general speculation

So today I was, fot the second time, seeing a hypnotherapist who's supposted to help me with my insomnia. I also asked her if we could try out bringing up past lives so that's what we did today. I wasn't so deeply in the hypnosis that I could tell anything for sure but this's what we got:

When I was asked about a place I got England, countryside. I saw a field and a tree and an emtry of a small house. The door was the back door, in the middle of a small garden. Then I got some corner of a white low-build house, I somehow was thinking it served as a school.. The time was 17 hundreds or so.. I didn't get any exact date, maybe because she didn't ask it so specifically. She also made me meet my so called former persona. So I met this dark haired man with a tuxedo, who somehow didn't fit the whole countryside thing.. Maybe that was where he was born or then there were somehow two lives simultaneously surfacing. I don't know. I don't know if the man was my former incarnation or just a mind trick. He looked wily with his longish nose and rather sharp features but his character was not sneaky at all. He was gentle and smiling. My therapist asked us to exchange gifts or advice (wasn't quite sure what exactly she meant) and I got a little heart shaped diamond necklace. And I gave him a flower (fare? :D).

Anyways, that's what we got today.

Do you love your mother like I love mine?

Mine is right now in the hospital. So value yours!

P.S: She'd be okay though..

P.S.S: I still got scared (cried a bit) and realized how big of a part of me she is.

Spring Equinox

I had no time to do anything but burn some candles. I burned black and a white candle. For the balance of polarities, obviously. :)

Scrying

Last Esbat I decided to do some scrying with my Tarot cards. I tried it with a chalice filled with water but didn't see anything. So I used the Tarot cards. I made a simple deck I learned when I was teenager and just getting familiar with Tarot. I lifted two cards for the past, two cards for the present and two cards for the future. They would form a triangle and the present being the upper peak.

My cards were:

Past: Justice and the Six of Cups

Justice represents balance and the Six of Cups reunion and nostalgia, also memories of the past. It seems that I'm in balance with the past.

Present: The Three of Swords and the Ten of Pentacles

The Three of Swords usually means disharmony, sorrow or pain, unhappiness or disturbance. Which is true in my case, if you read my post of astrology where I told you about my hearthache.
The Ten of Pentacles on the other hand is related to prosperity in all levels. "Richness" some say. Well I might say that I'm now "an experience richer" and a stronger person. This should also be a good time to search for a new job which pays well...

The Future: The Queen of Sword and the Ace of Wands

The Queen of Swords is about intellect, facts and logic. It's about the decision making with your brains rather than with your heart. It is a positive card, usually indicating that the person involved is able to this kind of decision making and also sees things clearly.

Ace of Wands deals with plenty of energy to go for whatever you it is that you want. It promises adventure and exciting endeavors. New projects. Especially this card calls for artists, visionaries, entepreneurs and such.

At least the future looks promising..

Moonlight shines down in distellar beams

How on earth the moon is so beautifull... Last night I had a dream. I was in Oulu, in the place where I spent my childhood. It was night. And fullmoon and I was there with some people. I knew I had to leave the group because I had to celebrate the Esbat. So I left. I walked the road beside the houses and fences and I can't even describe how beautifull the moon was. It was so bright. I was staring at it and a thought occured into my mind. I thought I could leave my body and go astral traveling and I closed my eyes but then fear stopped me. I was afraid that others might find me lying there on the ground and so they would find out I'm a witch! And that should never happen! I'd be screwed..

Actually my that fear is connected to my waking life. I'm about to move again. But now my landlady also lives in the same house and I don't think she'd be very pleased to find out what I actually am! She's an oldery lady, possibly a christian ('cause this city seems to be full of them!) and I gotta be extra cautious now. Especially with my books and stuff..

I regret that I took the house.. I didn't feel confortable in it in the first place.. Why did I take it? It's in the center and there's no nature..